Winter Friend

“Summer friends I value not, but winter friends are worth their weight in gold; and who could deny such anything, especially in these days,wherein faithful, constant friends are so rare to be found?” – Thomas Brooks -Puritan Pastor/Author

Are you a ‘Winter friend’ or a fair weather ‘Summer friend?’ If you consider yourself to be a ‘Winter friend’, how are you being a ‘winter friend’? Do you have the conviction to walk in the muck & mire of your friend’s pain & suffering?

Whether present or in temporary absence of such a friend, we who are follower’s of Jesus Christ can and should engage with our hearts in such a posture, in a continually standing, on our knees before our Almighty God, who is at work in our dearest friends, and those around their circles of influence, and those who are looking in from afar, and even us, the ones who love our dear friend(s).

This work the Great I AM is about is resolving our need, our dependence, and our sustenance upon Him now and forevermore! He does this because He is concern about how we are being conformed into His likeness, not our comfortability of the preferred smooth sailing of our life.

It is here in the deep dark waters of the unknown sea of life, we are comforted with His grace & mercy, in which is His love is on displayed for us and all to see of His goodness & greatness of a loving God.

Why? This is the question always at the doorstep of our thoughts. The answer is never easy to except when you are seeing love ones suffer & are riddled with pain, nevertheless, the answer in it is simplest form, is, it is all about Him receiving the Glory in our most fragile state of weakness, as the Apostle Paul says, ” But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Cor. 12:9

It in these tender moments we are faced with our inability to save ourselves, fully comfort ourselves, for we are weak, we are dependent creatures that are in desperate need of grace that can sustain us, a mercy that brings something anew each day, and a love that never ceases despite our weaknesses. We need the Creator of all things, we need Jesus’ sacrificial atonement, and we need the Holy Spirit’s guidance of remembrance of who we need, why we need Him, and Who will be faithful to us in our most time of need!

For the Christian we are called to imitate this action of love in which we see in Jesus, we are not to be Jesus in all He has done and is doing, but we can be the light of hope to our friends, loved ones,and even strangers, and may I dare say our enemies in their time of need of comfort. For we have been comforted by the work of Jesus at the cross and have been given new life from His resurrection from the grave!

What kind of friend are you, a ‘Summer friend’ or a ‘Winter friend’?

3 Thoughts on Transitions

We are affected by them, we do not want to acknowledge that at times, well a majority of the time we cannot control them, and they are what we call transitions. Transitions bring change, and if you are like me, I only like change on my terms, period. Transitions occur in small moments and in larger contexts that can bring us joy or cripple us with fear, and everything else in between. One truth is that we cannot avoid them whether we cause them or they just happen.  Transitions affect us greatly, and some of them we set out and plan for great transitions in our lives. However, we get caught in the grand idea of change and transition on our terms we tend to overlook the process that will bring that transition.

We can define transition as – a going across or a movement to cross, as in transit. From which we derive the use of this word to define our movements in action and in word. In speaking upon such a topic as this, I must confess, I miss the beauty in the process of embracing the small moments of transitions for they form my wholeness that informs my actions/movements in the larger contexts of greater transitions.  I am humbled by such knowledge and pray for Wisdom to show me how to grow in this embracement of the small things.

In the wisdom literature within the Bible we find a passage from the Proverbs that says, “The heart of man plans his ways, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Prov. 16:9.This verse implies a transaction of transitions. Let us look at a few ways that of this implication:

1. The Heart – in Jewish writings the heart is a reference to the will of person or that persons spirit that guides them with great courage or a discouraged will to engage with the world around them. The heart at times can be a resilient when facing a great variation of perplex situations that seem impossible to overcome. (insert your own experience) Also, the heart can cause a person to run in fear or sit in a paralyze state of non-movement, or cause a regression in to old habits. These thoughts are not exhaustive, however their intent is to bring to light our hearts can be fickle, and at best lukewarm in how we will respond to any given situation. That might feel like an indictment of our hearts, can you admit along we me, we are indecisive people, where we will move as the wind blows, maybe I am the only one. When we plan from our hearts we plan in hope we will not change our course due to how we feel or the pressures of life that are upon us.
2. His (Our) Ways – tied to our heart is our will; this is our boot-straps mental state that says, “Yes We Can, and Thus We Must Do”. This kind of mindset and attitude I believe is God given, for we are to imitate Him in our ability to work and create. Where at times we miss the mark, is that we tend to live under and through our own capacity. Can you and I be honest, are capacities have a limit, even the most industrious and most intelligent person, has a capped limit. However, But with Jesus’ work on the cross and His resurrection from the grave, gives our capacity and unending limit as we surrender our plans – transitions – movements unto Him.
3. But the Lord… – Jesus bestows upon us a gift taking our plans and establishing them in a unique way. This unique way is by taking us through multiple and vast number of transitions to establish us not within our own plans, but transitions us into His plans for our lives. Then these glorious painful, self-denying, pressured filled, joyous moments of transitions culminate into a preparation for a larger context He has prepare us for, this greater calling is defined differently for each of us, but the goal is the same, which is to Glorify His Name through us and through our moments of transition of change. In this place we learn and see how He establishes us in His will and His purpose for us, not solely for us, but for the greater good of those around us and for His Kingdom.

Personally, I have been recently in a state of embracing these small transitions of change in knowing He will be leading me into a greater transition of change. This change of circumstances will have profound impact of these in my sphere of influence, which will impact the sphere of their influences as well, and it that influence goes on, and on, and on. Jesus calls us all to change our perspective to His and these moments of transitions to that perspective can and will cause us uncomfortable-ness, which is for our good and His glory. Where is Jesus calling you to transition from and where is that He wants to establish your steps as you surrender your plans unto Him? Let us learn together this process of transition: Our Hearts set to Plan our ways, But the Lord will Establish (as we submit and surrender to His will & purpose) Our Steps.

Be Still Moments Pt. 1

If there has been particular writing that has directed a majority of my thoughts throughout the years, it has been the prayer found in the Psalms, the 46^th one to be exact. The direction of the Psalmist wants his readers to know he has struggled or seen others struggles with God being his or their refuge and source of strength in moments where the open high stormy seas of life seem to have no end or answers how to get through them. In essence the Psalmist’s issue that he is combating within himself or what he sees with others is what he describes in v. 2, ,’Therefore we will not fear…’ This phrase of encouragement gives us the indication that he or others have allowed the woes of life to overtake them, to allow fear to encapsulate their lives with perpetuating worry and distress.

The Psalmist begins with this particular proclamation of encouragement, “God is our refuge and strength…” What a proclamation!! What a opening line to engage his audience!! Let this phrase sink in, “God is our refuge and strength”. What does it mean that God is our refuge? What does it mean God is our strength? From understanding these terms not just in thought but in application can he and his audience come to fully embrace, “Be still [cease striving] and know that I am God…”

“God is our refuge…” Refuge means a shelter from hardships, a place of protection, or a place of help – comfort – a place of relief in times of trouble. What does this truly say about God? It is says we can TRUST Him. Meaning He knows our deepest need and meets us right where we are by providing us shelter in Him. Trust means simply to have a firm reliance of conviction that a person or entity will provide you the right measure of comfort in uncertain times. In essence trusting is ‘letting go’ so we can and will be comforted. The Psalmist here is communicating that to allow God to be our refuge, we must trust Him fully without reservation, so God can comfort us.

“God is our refuge and strength” Strength is a very misleading word in our language, we use it to describe many things, strength can be used to describe power, physicality, ability, determination and other various descriptions of what strength is or could be. Here in this text the word strength describes God strength as might. Might can be describe as having the ability of power of strength to hold things together, or the ability to change circumstances, such as creation, and the hearts of men. God is described here in this text to be mighty – the One who has the ability in His unlimited power to be a very present help in trouble. What is amazing God is exceedingly one-being found in our distresses! Meaning that His strength has the ability, the power to change the outcomes if we trust completely and not fear as seen in v. 2, “Therefore we will not fear….”  God’s strength allows Him to be our refuge a place of comfort for our weary souls that are found in the open high stormy seas of life!

This opening line to this Psalm is a declaration of God’s grace of provision, of protection, of comfort, and of being a shelter to all who find themselves in tragic situations. We all find ourselves here, for a crisis of any shape or size causes us to fear and worry about what is to come or what is to unravel. The Psalmist declares that God’s strength is able to change those situations, but only when we cease striving on our accord to let go of the control of the uncontrollable then God does become sovereign in our lives. God declares that He is with us, “God is in the midst of her…” (v.5a) and The LORD of hosts is with us…” (v. 7) this is a personal proclamation from God of where His heart is, where He shows His love and His grace. His act of being a refuge and our strength to carry us through the tragic moments speaks to His greatness of being the Father to all that never ceases to care for His children at all times without any variation of what you or I have done or what the situation is! May we find refuge in our God, may we find strength in our God, who loves us with an everlasting love!

May you and I find great comfort as we treed in the open unknown seas of life of unpredictability that our greatest hope is not in our plans to see us through, but that God is our refuge and source of strength as we navigate through these treacherous open high stormy seas of life! God is our refuge and strength where we find the greatest comfort and peace for our lives!

 

Weekly Thoughts

Fracture Thoughts

Saturday has arrived the time is 11:30 am and college basketball is being watched. I enjoy watching all out hustle from college players which sometimes you just don’t see the same intensity at that Pro level. Well this post will not be all about basketball, though when I watch and even play I cannot help myself be taken back to a time I started to play the game. Especially when I got my first Basketball backboard and rim, I believe it was around Christmas, when I was 12 yrs. old. The uniqueness of this gift was it was to be mounted above the garage door at the 10 ft. regulation height. That is not the uniqueness of it, the unique part was the drive way had a incline of  a 30 degrees or so, so at the end of the driveway one would shot the ball at 15 ft. basketball hoop. If you can imagine a young boy of 12 yrs. old maybe 5’2″ just over about 80 lbs. and no real muscle mass to shoot the ball with a effective stroke. Well as I played day in day out, rain or shine, windy(I mean 30 to 50 mph winds), hot or cold I was have hours of shoot arounds. My game develop and I used those times to imagine playing with the greats such as Magic, Kareem, Worthy, Bird, Thomas you name the bigs in the mid-80’s I played against them or with them with my imagination on that driveway-court. As you can deduct that I did not just play at home, I played on other courts and realized that my shoot had to adjust significantly if I wanted to play effectively. Once I realized this I decided to play that much on my home court that much for I really wanted to develop my game on a ‘normal’ court where I was not over shooting the ball. Those times showed me that life changes and the courts we play on differ from one season to the next. Also to note is that our game changes, or maybe does not change as we hope it would or it just doesn’t change due to our pride. Whatever the case may be the court does change whether we change with it or not. 

I am finding myself in another season where the court is being changed and my game needs to develop to those changes. Honestly, I don’t want to change my game or the development of it, my current one is just adequate for me. I realize that is not how God wants me live my life, for He is constantly changing me from within as I surrender to His will and His purposes. Some of the last few posts have been personal in dealing with issues that involves my mother and how I am struggling with re-establishing that relationship. I am not come to a complete conclusion on how I am to interact with her. I am seeking Godly wisdom and advice. Most are wondering what the deal is, she is your mother, well yes she is and I will always honor her for that fact. Where the rubber meets the road is that there are many issues that can be forgiven and look passed , but the question I am now faced with is do I want a relationship with her, for it has been 7 years of non communication on both sides. Does what she have to offer to the relationship truly benefit my life, than what she has already given? This is one thought one I am covering in pray for insight and wisdom. 

Other thoughts of this past week are how the hype of President Obama is such the man for the job in our need for change. I think he brings a sense of newness to that role on a few fronts. 1) Being young and energetic. 2) Have fresh ideas. 3) Having a majority supporting him. The other part of his newness is changing things that could have potential disaster for this nation as well as others. One issue is the closing of Gitmo detention center and saying that the U.S. will not torture anymore. I am not sure his will bring the results he and the democratics’ are looking for. This world is a fallen world and those who want to terrorize will heighten their efforts against us and others if there is no fear of what can happen to them if they are caught and punished for their crimes against humanity. Our freedoms will be in jeopardy if our leaders lead softly and not firmly. Not to mention the fact that Obama sign a bill that allows our federal tax dollars to pay for global abortions. Thank you Obama, I hope your conscience is clear before your Maker, for that action is will create more of a world-wide genocide of human life. Not to mention his stimulus package will put the U.S. more in debt than stimulate the economy. Have the citizens truly elected a President to work within his authority per the Constitution or have the citizens asked and got a self proclaimed ‘king’. Enough personal thoughts on these political issues. (blood pressure rising)

Another thought that is arising is that of living a simple life. Simple in the meaning that my finaces, my time spent with friends, time spent watching TV/movies, reading, planning need to be done with great intentional efforts. If there are things that need to be eradicated from my life I need not to be proud in thinking I can do all, and let those things go, I am hoping not friendships, but if that is what it takes to fulfill God’s purposes so be it. A simple life is a life that is prudent, let me quote a Proverb to illustrate this, “The simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps.” (Pro 14:15). I have thought being prudent was a terrible thing to be, but as I understand it better now it is a great thing to do. Being prudent is looking at all possible roads and seeking Godly wisdom and advice to see which one is the best one to take. I think of it as a game of chess where a player has to see more than two or three steps ahead of them, it is really seeing how the first move ought to bring them to the completion of bringing the king to a checkmate. But life is a bit more unpredictable than a game of chess; nevertheless the idea is about the same plan, plan, plan, attack, plan, plan, plan, and attack. For me this is a prudent action of living a simple life.  On the onset it appears not a simple life, but taking time to think of particular outcomes will save  time, money and stress which leads to a simple life of enjoyment as best as could be experienced.

I know this is a long post of weekly thoughts, but this is a combination of a couple of weeks, so next weekly thoughts will be shorter, well I hope so. Have a blessed week and may God blessed your thoughts as you think about Him and how you are to interact with this world. 

  “O simple ones, learn prudence; O fools, learn sense.”  Pro 8:5

The Quilt of My Life

The elevation of the woes of this life have subsided. I do not mean that they have gone away, for that would mean that I have left this place of human conscience to enter into the realm of God’s celestial  shores of serenity. At this moment I am not feeling the pressure of all collapsing on me like that of ones oxygen being drained from its life source. 

I must confess I realize that pressure is a good thing and I among others ought to embrace it for it shows us truly who we are and who we are not. There have been many that have stated that truth, but it is one that ought to be revisited at least once a day if not shortly there after, for the reason that we believe we arrive well before we actual have. Even when we arrive to an understanding of ourselves or of the circumstance we still really have not arrived, at least in my perspective. I am considering the words of the Apostle Paul when he stated that, “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.” (1 Cor. 13:12) There will be a day I believe with great conviction that I will know fully as I am known fully by God my Lord, Savior, and Creator.

The uncertainty of this life has proved itself once again of a young man leaving this world in an manner that was peaceful, but sudden. It happen sudden and unpredictable, nevertheless the life that was lived was not in vain, nor did the persons toil come to an utter end, the end of the persons toil is lay before us in his legacy in the foundations that was laid upon the Rock, who is Jesus our Lord. My heart and prayer concerts that of those most effected by this sudden tragedy. 

I state the previous antidote for a purpose of a story I was told a few days removed from today. The story is of a lady that reached the Heavenly places and found herself quilted her life story among others one day in heaven. Then an Angel was passing by and ask to see what she has done and to see if it was completed to present to the Master. The lady was ashamed for her quilt was ragged and had holes in it, and not matter what she did she could not cover up those holes. She was also fearful (in heaven..) due to that the others quilts were made with gold threads, sliver, and precious colors. The Angel insisted in seeing despite her protest. He held it up, her eyes fell with shame, but what she heard was gasps of awe and wonderment. When she raised her head she saw that those holes she could not cover up or fix, the face of Christ filled the holes. Not only did He fill them, He face radiated the quilt beyond compare. The Angel replied to the lady, the Master will be well pleased with this quilt, take courage and hope for He is truly your all in all.

This story spoke to me of God’s provision of His Son to help me fill the holes in my life when I can not do it myself, which is about everyday. It is a story of hope, a story to tell us that faith is required of us each day no matter how bumpy or non bumpy or road is at that moment. For in my life I lose hope, lose faith, lose perspective for I get caught up in the attempting to fixing one hole and then see another hole appear and try to fix it at the same time. I guess you can say it is like playing twister by yourself and your spinning the dial to see what color you ought to touch next. Wow! We would never do such a thing in the game for it is impossible, but the contrary is true if we step back in trying to fix the holes in our own power, but rely on His to aide to fix matters that we could never. I am not saying we ought to become lethargic in this approach we are to be active of our actions, but the Lord will help change hearts, change situations, change perspective as we surrender to His will. 

I am convince that these holes that appear in our quilts is merely the trials of life. Some are larger than others due to us involving only ourselves to fix them verses those that are smaller due to that we saw it fit to seek God’s aide on the onset on the initial tear. I know for a fact I will have some large holes to come, but I hope that I will see my folly quicker and again surrender to the Master craftsman to aide to the repair of this beautiful quilt that one day will be on display for all of the Kingdom to see His face instead of mine. 

Remebering When….

There are moments in time when memories surface some funny, some sad, and some you think why in the world did that happen, or what was I thinking. Well tonight as I was watching for I do not know the 36th time, the movie Colors. If you have not seen it is was a movie in the late 80’s or early 90’s that dealt with the issue of gangs in L.A. Well what spark the momentary flashback, was the seen when one of the young men wanted to be jumped into his Neighborhood set or known as the barrio. I remember when I was approached to join a gang in the 9th grade. Yes this white boy was ask to join a Latino gang. Prior to this request I was apart of little group called a posse, so I had somewhat of a reputation, not one of great proportions, but some knew me. Well I remember when I said sure why not, what do I have to lose, I was looking for friends, a group to belong to. My initiation was like most gangs at that time you get jumped in. Basically you fight 3 or more guys to prove you can hold your own. Stupid, yes, but other cultures have other rights of passages to that you might think are stupid, nevertheless people do them to have a sense of belonging and achieving status within that group. We can discuss the sociological and psychology of this later. There I was in the guys restroom at Alder Jr. High taking on 3 guys throwing punches, pushing guys off me, being thrown into the stalls. It was a melee for about 2 minutes or so, I remember all I was doing smiling and laughing thinking wow is this all what there is to this. So at the end of it, I now belong to a set in little ol’ Fontana. Really what was I thinking? Why didn’t just join a sports team to belong? I came from a middle-class family at that time. I lived in a nice neighborhood. So why? What was the pull to that life? How could I be so selfish and endanger my family? Well to answer those questions, I look back and really didn’t care at that moment if I did endanger my family, if I was being selfish. The pull was I look up to those guys that where in my classes, in my school, in my neighborhoods. I wanted to be like them, I did not want to be like my own family. What was the point they were selfish, meaning my parents. Always wanting things there way and I do not mean how they wanted chores done in the house. In how the related with each other and us kids. So I thought I be selfish as well. When one day I saw that what I needed to do for the set I belong to could one day harm my sisters, ones that I did care about, I decided to back out. Well if anyone knows something about gangs you just simply just do not walk away. Thankfully that the set I was apart of was still small and new it had no real structure to carry out discipline upon its members. though they did jump me to have me not “rank out” or back down for the set. But I was able to walk away without any repercussions. 

Why blog about this time in life? The reason is my past is riddle of moments in which I have try to fit into other crowds of people to feel a sense of belonging. I never had that sense when I was growing up in my home. Yeah I knew I belonged for I was a son and there were parents, but never felt that there was solidarity in the family. Do you know what I mean? Now  fast forward 18 years that sense still exists today with some family members. Mostly in regards to my mother. Most tell me she is your mom, you need to love her and honor her, for that is God command to you. I hear that, but I just don’t see how I can honor someone that is not worth honoring. I know that sounds harsh, but if one could watch the film tapes on her behavior and actions one can conclude what I have concluded. I am really struggling in this area, for I want to but it is hard. Most likely due to a harden heart that does not want to be hurt anymore. But seriously it has been 7 years since I spoke with her. The reason being is that she still harbors ill feelings towards my father and kept bringing us children into the middle of those feelings. I said until she deals with those feelings and seeks reconciliation with my father, not in marriage for she has remarried, but forgives and seeks forgiveness I am going to stop all communications. Well I have live by my words and stood by a principle that many have question and I do at times. I am asking should I reach out again? Should I reach out and keep the same context as before? Should I just let her be and let God move her to reconcile relationships with my father… with me? I am just lost in drowning thoughts… What a way to start a fresh new year, huh? I just feel at this moment in time I never really was apart of my mothers community. 

Unforgettable…

Well I have been putting this post off for to long now. It is another review of a previous year that went better than I expected, but had those reliable hip-cups in life. Where to start lets go to the blessed points, then the not so blessed well as of yet… (these are not in any particular order)

Blessed….

1. New direction in working towards of being a steward of a business – Coffee House Style.

2. Ministry to the young men and women has been a blast at CFA.

3. Church life has been awesome, seeing a healthily model strive to serve the Kingdom

4. Settled on attempting a Master’s in Christian Ed./maybe a Master of Business, one thing at a time.

5. Having family attending Church with me, this stokes me every Sunday. 

6. Connecting with old friends and hearing of their journey.

7. Having a mentor to help guide in life

8. Learning what is means to prudent, wow what a lesson I am learning

9. Friendships growing every day, I am a blessed man for those friends.

10. Growing in Fatah, an area I struggle

Not so Good….

1. Not in full-time youth ministry, God directs even when it is not your plan.

2. The elusive full-time gig

3. Losing friends.

4. Death in the family

5. No where limit the bleeding of debt.

6. The elusive lady friend… God bring her quickly…

Well it is sweet to see that the blessed is out weighing the not so good. I am seeing this unfolding this year is already not going how I envisioned it. I guess that is a good thing, for my plans might not really survive the test of time. I am excited in what God is doing in me at the moment, though is a bit painful, but it’s implications will be for the betterment of where He is leading. I look forward to expounding on my difficulties and blessed moments as this year unfolds. Until then enjoy that cup of Joe and live in community. 

Only You (God)…

Hello to all my dear friends… my last post was about understanding my draw to those God is leading me to minister too. I must state this understanding always is developing into something that appears to me overwhelming to complete or even start. Hey I am just saying that I know my tendencies and that I am a person that doubts himself, just being honest. However I do know this that no matter my tendencies and even the doubt of myself fades away to the assurance of the Lord that He will complete what He started within me (Phil. 1:6).

In the last few weeks had been a whirlwind of emotions of personal and ministry related issues that I am walking through. Not to add on top of those issues being a transitional period in life of where to go to graduate school, finding suitable employment and being proactive in finding a helpmate. So I have been drawn into the music and the lyric simplicity of David Crowder. I will say this with emphatic tone, this man is blessed by God in his music and lyric writing. I am come to be in awe of God’s gifting in this young man, hear me rightly… I praise God for his ability not David Crowder. Though David has been obedient to use it rightly unto God. Anyways, the song that puts everything into perspective for me is Only You. The lyrics I have added to this post. I encourage you as I have been doing, reading, listening and making this a prayer to God for Him to take control no matter what the outcome may be in our situations. I am confident that it will bless you.

One thing I am learning is breath deeper and knowing that God is closer than I think.

Only You, by David Crowder (Illuminate)

Take my heart, I Lay it down

At the feet of you whose crowned

Take my life, I’m letting go

I lift it up to You who’s throned

And I will worship You, Lord

Only You, Lord

And I will bow down before You

Only You Lord

Take my fret, take my fear

All I have, I’m leaving here

Be all my hopes, be all my dreams

Be all my delights, be my everything

And It’s just you and me here now

Only you and me here now

You should see the view

When it’s only You

Riding a Llama spiting you in the eye…

How can you ride a llama allowing it spit you in the eye and still fight those giraffes that charging at you? Ever feel like you are in a place in life where you have been dealt a llama to ride, a creature that spits, and possibly in your eye, and the things that are attacking you are giraffes. Why a giraffe cause there are odd animal that you would never suspect of having the ability or capability to attack you. A very weird but provoking thought, that the least likely link in our armor in life is our greatest weakness.

We spend countless of minutes, hours, days and even years to suppose ideas that we have assured our defenses from allowing ourselves from experiencing any surprising onslaughts of circumstances, deception, and anything we may not for see. For what? Have we not learned in thousands of years and beyond that we have very little control over this life we live. It can be summed up to or taken to its lost common factor, which is Pride. Pride keeps up on our balls of our feet to make plans of defense and then a counter attack for offense so that we seemed to be protected from all things that may disillusionment into our lives. Pride keeps us from admitting how hopeless we really are in not being able to control the world around us. A self-abasement, self-centered, self-conceited Pride will kill us and bring havoc into our lives as well as others.

Why this rant and rave about Pride, it is due to pride I have lost much in my life. Pride in thinking that I am the savior to my own problems. Pride in my own finite wisdom. Pride in that what I offer in only offered by me alone.

The reversal of this fact is that no one, and even myself has to stay seated on a llama that spits in your eye and is taking you towards giraffes as they attack you. Cause as stupid an idiotic as that statement is, we have a choice. How will you choose? How will I choose? The chose is simple, choose to Love as God Loves… But hard to do, for we are so full of ourselves.

I have been reminded this week that from news of my niece that is been diagnosed as being deaf. A child I most likely will never know due to pride in my life and the pride of others. A child that was born into a world of self-absorb people, like you and me, and is deaf because of the pride of life… that was committed thousands of years ago by our forefather and foremother. The thorn in our flesh that plagues all humankind, not one person is immune. Except for one in our own history, His name is Jesus the Nazarene. The only person that can right the wrongful act of pride that (sin) that leads farther from our Sustainer.

Maybe it is beneficial for us to ride on a llama that spits in our eye as we are being attack by giraffes….

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It is a Saturday late morning and I am asking myself what is the next big adventure to come. This time of the year I am a bit more melancholy about life, for I reflect on what has taken place and start to look into the darkness of the unknown called ‘future’. I am uncertain what 2008 is going to look like, I am not in school at the moment so that constant is not there, I am writng, but really going nowhere. So what am I going to do? Seems that we all have decisions to make, but some ones are not all that fun making. Wouldn’t it be rad if we has a Ice Cream Truck that came by our homes that not only sold ice cream and good treats but also had options of what to do next and you buy one for a dollar try it out for a week if ti did not work or suit you you could buy another one from that Ice Cream Truck the next week. Child’s thinking, I know, but it would be fun.

The eluding answers for me are employment at a place where I can really grow and be challenged, where will I be living in Cali or somewhere else, and the kicker of all where will I be going for Seminary. To be honest living in Cali is getting to expensive for this low-income person can handle. I know we are to place our trust in God in regards to our provision, but in other places like the Proverbs it says we ought to be about be productive and not be slothful in our daily living. So a question arises where is the balance?

Any who-ti-hoot, I am grateful for a year of great triumphs, one being graduating a 7 year plan of College. Whoot -whoot!!!!! I am the second in my family to have a Bachelors, and the only one of my siblings to have one. So that is a feat in of itself, it only took me until I was 31 to achieve such a goal. I am gaining more control over my lust issues, and why I fall prey to them. My faith in God has grown more this year, maybe not grown but has gotten stronger than in previous years. There has been a lot of good this past year and a bit of not so good moments. All in all I am excited to see what 2008 will bring. If I could make a wish list of things to happen here it is…

1. Have a deeper relation with God through a contemplative life
2. Meet my wife to be and court her
3. Get a job that pays at least $50,000 a yr. (something I will enjoy doing)
4. Get ahead in my finances
5. Go to seminary (hopefully Talbot)
6. Travel more
7. Spend more intentional time with friends and family
8. Explore how to run a coffee business
9. Lose more weight, hopefully get under 200 lbs in 08′
10. Go to more Angels Baseball games
11. Be open for other adventures that come my way

This is what I hope for in 08′, maybe you all will be apart of the life with Uncle Mikey….